1 Down 7 to Go! 

1 down, 7 to go!

So I finished my first cycle of Xeloda and I am now enjoying my week off. Woo-hoo! As a reminder I do 2 weeks on and 1 week off for 8 cycles. I have decided to just stick with focusing on them as cycles because 6 months seems way worse than 8 cycles to me...don't you think so?

The good news is that the 2 weeks went fine! No body parts fell off, my head didn't spin around and I obviously still have my sense of humor! ;o) I really haven't felt any real symptoms, maybe a little extra tired but I just don't give in to that. You know me, the ever ready bunny that likes to keep busy! I am working about 3 days a week and hanging in there. I love being there spending time with the girls (they really keep my spirits up) and with my wonderful clients that are so much more than clients...they are friends. My neuropathy from my other chemo is still giving me some trouble. It's only my arms and hands but I am learning to accept it as a part of life. Oh well! ;o) My big toe nails are also slowly trying to leave me...gross! The new ones are growing in underneath and I hope they win the race before the others come off...polish seems to help...a lot! (sorry for the TMI) I have decided that it is important to keep going to the gym and stay in shape. They released new evidence that our "killer cells" are more productive in someone that works out so that is another benefit to it all. Those cells go out in the body to hunt down and destroy cancer cells. I only do the upright bike for my cardio since I need to be good to my feet but also do the different seated type machines there too. GO WORK OUT EVERYONE!

I will start cycle 2 this Monday and we will be increasing the dosage since I tolerated it so well. I love that I have to wear gloves and not touch the pills! Really? Don't touch them to your skin, just get them inside your body! Oh yeah, I filed for a tier exemption with my pharmacy provider and got my copay reduced from $200 to $10 a month! I had never heard of it before but I am glad I have now. That was SO worth it! Now with the extra dosage the pills cost about $7000 a month! Yowza! Thankful for my insurance.

Blessings

Speaking of being thankful...you may find it strange that I have never felt so full of thankfulness. I wake up every single morning feeling so full of gratitude and count my many blessings. It is like I have put on a pair of magical glasses and see everything that I am blessed with so much more clearly. It's like going from black and white to technicolor! With the fear of this coming back I could be focusing on the "why me" or letting the fear over shadow my joy. Fear can be completely debilitating and blind you to everything good. Instead my eyes see past the fear, which I hand over to God every day, and feel my heart fill with gratitude. Why let tomorrow's fear ruin today's joy!!

Hitting milestones in my life are also so much more special. Joe and I celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary on May 18th and had a lovely dinner out at Roy's last night. Speaking of marriages, our house is becoming wedding central. Kendall and Christian's wedding is quickly approaching and it is such a wonderful distraction to everything for me. They are such a strong and faith-filled couple and have such a great life ahead of them! 

A couple of other really super cool things happened last week. My wonderful kiddos at church made their confirmation after 2 years of preparation. I am so proud of them! Watching them grow in their faith and as humans has been an incredible gift that I will always treasure. They have truly touched my heart. What is this gold pin you ask? (even if you didn't ask you get to hear about it!). One of my former students who is now heading off to college achieved his Eagle Scout Award and honored me with this pin. He was allowed to give one pin to whom he felt impacted him in his life. I am blown away from this and touched beyond words. Thank you so much for this honor Eric Bermudo!

Prayers

I humbly ask for your prayers that I will continue to tolerate my chemo well with no side effects. It is a long road ahead and I need my body to stay strong and heathy through this. I also ask that you pray that if there are any rogue cancer cells in my body that this chemo and my awesome killer cells are out there destroying and annihilating them! Thank you my sweet friends and family, I pray for all of you as well! 

Spend your day seeing all the things you have to be thankful for!  

Here We Go Again!

Tomorrow is the day that I start the new chemo, Xeloda (capecitabine). I am keeping a very positive outlook about it and feel I will soar through this with flying colors like I did with the other 2 chemos! I will be starting out by taking three 500mg pills after breakfast and then again after dinner. I will do this for two weeks and then have one week off. If/when I do well on this dose she will increase it. I will repeat this for 8 cycles which takes about 6 months. Not thrilled about that but it is what it is! ;o)

The warnings and instructions are interesting to say the least. First of all I am not supposed to touch them without gloves on. Hello...so don't mess your skin up, just get it right into your mouth and digestive track! The nurse went over things I am supposed to avoid during this time and said...

• no standing for long periods of time
• no long walks or hikes or aerobic activities
• keep my hands and feet dry and well moisturized
• no hot or cold water on hands and feet
• do not use kitchen or garden tools that involve repeated opening and closing of the hands

There were a few more things but I said, "You just described my job!" I mean really?! This is going to be very interesting but I am just positive that I am not going to have problems with all of this! So I am putting my seat belt on, holding on with white knuckles and am ready for this ride. Let's throw all we can at this dang cancer and beat it!

A Little Scare

SO...just to keep things interesting I thought we'd throw a little scare into it all. I saw my radiology oncologist for a skin check on the radiation area. It looks great by the way and you can't even tell I had radiation. I happen to mention to her that I found a small lump on my other breast the night before and I had her examine it. She didn't seem alarmed but said that I was due for a mammogram on that side anyway (my poor little left booby has been ignored). I didn't think much of it all and was focused on the fact that my port was coming out on Wednesday. WELL...my oncologist thought it was a big deal and the next thing I know I am being rushed in for a mammogram and ultrasound to get to the bottom of things before the port is removed and before I start the chemo. Just the thought of cancer in my other breast was too much for me to handle so I just gave it over to God. It was amazing how much I just went with the flow after that. Let's face it, there wasn't anything I could do about it so I just handed it over.  It all turned out fine and now have a new baseline for my mammograms since my breasts are very different now.

The Arnold-ectomy...aka The Terminator Has Been Terminated!

This was in me, cord and all!

Don't look so sad Arnold!

Last Wednesday my friend Lucia was my hand-holder and designated driver for my port to come out. It took way longer than we both expected but we had time to really get to talk and catch up while we were waiting. The waiting was way longer than the procedure and let's face it, it went fast because I was sleeping, lol! It all went well and NO MORE PORT!!! One less physical reminder of all of this! The terminator served me well but I am happy it is no longer there!

Blessings and More Sorrow

This is my all-time favorite Bedison photo! Mike is photo
bombing in the back. Love this family!

First we all had the shock of my friend Kyle passing away and then a few days later my friend Mike Bedison also passed away. Mike's daughter and son, Jen and Mikey, were my kids choreographers back when they were in children's theater. Our families were instantly intertwined through theater, our faith, hair appointments, trips to Europe, and many celebrations throughout life. It has been about 17 years that we first met and quickly bonded. Mike has been battling an undetermined illness since last December with much frustration. It has been a long and tough road for them all and he lost his battle last weekend. Both Mike and his lovely wife Marilyn were regulars at Tease and I always looked forward to spending time with them and catching up on life. I can't look at the little chair in my suite at the salon without thinking of him. It brings a smile to my face picturing him there but an ache to my heart at the same time. I will truly miss this sweet, funny, kind, wonderful man. His rosary will be tomorrow night and his service will be Tuesday. Of course it will be a huge Aloha as we send this native Hawaiian off and bid him aloha oe!

 Lucia and I getting one last good hike in before I can't, due to my new meds. What a beautiful day it was! What a beautiful friend she is!

Speaking of beautiful friends, this is some of our high school friends group that got together to celebrate Kyle's life and our many wonderful memories of him. They are blessings in my life and more like family than friends! 

One More Time...here we go again!

I met with my UCSD oncologist last week and got the low-down on the new chemo plan. Since it is an oral medication she thinks it is best to take my port out since it could cause an infection. Yes, it is time to "terminate" Arnold! I hope they let me keep it...I'm weird like that. ;o) I will be getting that done on Wednesday. My friend Lucia will be taking me since Joe will be out of town and Kendall will be teaching. I will be under a light anesthesia so I am sure I will be a bit goofy, heaven knows she has seen me this way before! lol

Lucia and I getting in a good long hike at Torrey Pines!

The following Monday I will be starting Xeloda. I will take it after breakfast and dinner every day for 2 weeks followed by a week off. I will continue this pattern for 6 months...yup, I said 6 months! It's a long one but I want to throw it all at this thing. The main side effects this causes is diarrhea (lovely) and something called hand and foot syndrome. When the nurse read through everything I am supposed to avoid in hopes to prevent getting it, it pretty much described everything that is involved with being a hairstylist. Don't be on your feet too much, keep your hands dry, no hot or cold water on hands and feet, don't wear rubber gloves...I mean really?!?! 

It also says that I can't go on long walks or hiking, aerobics...needless to say I am trying to pack all that stuff in now while I can!

The medication also reduces my red and white blood counts so that puts me back in the no hugs and being extra careful with germs and crowds. I am totally banking on not having any of these symptoms. I did so well with my other chemos and radiation that I am just sure I will do fine with this as well. After all, I have a wedding to help plan, make things for and most of all, attend! What a joyous distraction!

Blessings and Goodbyes

So today we celebrated my friend Kyle's birthday and life. Yes, it was his birthday today and also the day we all said goodbye. It was heartwarming to see the church packed full of people that all loved Kyle, what an incredible turn out for such an incredible man. Listening to everyone talk about Kyle filled my heart with such pride. I always knew he was an amazing guy but hearing person after person get up to talk about him was so enlightening. He was truly a man of God and so dedicated to his family, church, and friends. I am so proud of him and all that he did without bragging to us or looking for any kind of recognition. He was a blessing in my life but also to so many others. 

Kyle Hammerness, I am so grateful our paths crossed in life. Rest in paradise my friend! 

Kyle and his beautiful family at his son's confirmation

Clarity...Prayers are Answered

You are all incredible prayer warriors...you are all the bomb.com for sure!!! Clarity is what I wanted and clarity is what I certainly got! If you remember, I was completely confused and torn between the two chemo options I was given though UCSD and didn't know how to make the decision.

My consultation/second opinion with Dr Traina at Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York was great and so was she. Cameron went with me since the rest of the family had headed back home by then. I was so glad he was able to go and hear everything that she had to say. First of all she was so kind and positive, I liked her from the moment she came into the room. A lot of information was given but to put it all in a nutshell she told me that I need to go on Xeloda (the oral chemo) and that they wouldn't even contemplate putting me on carboplatin at Memorial Sloan Kettering. She said based on my residual tumor that she highly recommended me doing adjuvant chemo and not leaving things the way they are and just hoping for the best. It left no doubt in my head as to what I am supposed to do and I am so very thankful for that! Clarity is a wonderful thing and thank you all for your prayers!

I will be meeting with my oncologist here on Tuesday and start Xeloda this coming week. I don't have all of the nitty gritty details yet but as soon as I do I will let you know. Put your seat belts on...here we go again on the chemo ride! 

The Big Apple

Our family trip was amazing! We all traveled to New York to join Cameron there for our last "Sczempka, family of 5 trip". With Kendall getting married in August it will probably be the last time we will all get away together. Needless to say, we all had a blast. 5 crazy Sczempkas set free in NYC...how could it have not been a blast!?! We walked tons of miles (about 20,000 steps a day), rode bikes for hours, ate incredible food, saw 4 shows and learned a lot about the subway system! Cameron was an incredible guide, host and social director...he even fit in a couple of auditions and a voice lesson to boot. We stayed at his apartment in Harlem to add to the experience. It is actually an historic building and I loved it! Did I mention RATS? Yeah, can't leave that part out. It is one thing I will never get used to. When we would walk on the neighborhood streets at night time the little darlings would come out in hoards! One place in particular that we had to walk past every night to get to the apartment was the best for the rat experience. There would be 20 to 30 of the lovely things scurrying about. They were the size of small cats...I swear to you! YUCK!!!

The little cutie if front of me
kept my mind off of the guy by
poking her hands through the
seat and playing peek a boo!

 

The guy next to me on the
plane coming home. Other than
his snoring, breathing on me
and taking up part of my seat
it was lovely!

Our family has always cherished and appreciated our time together but in light of the recent health "hijacking" we certainly value it even more. My heart is so full with joy to have had this time all together and now we get to focus on the joyous occasion of Kendall and Christian's upcoming wedding! We couldn't ask for a better man for her to spend her life with. It was an extra bonus for me to get to spend a few extra days there with it just being Cam and I. We went on a VERY long bike ride (that put us in another world. We ended up in a huge hasidic Jewish neighborhood...oy vey...very cool), saw another show and had some incredible one on one talks. I will put all of these gems in my little treasure box of life for sure. I am so grateful for it all!

Blessings

One of my many blessings in this life has been a very special group of friends that I have known forever! Some of them I met in elementary school and the rest of them I met in junior high. We are a small bunch and we have never lost contact with each other. Our lives have stayed beautifully intwined all these years. They are family to me and I love them all dearly. They are the ones that all pitched in and blessed me with my wig!

Our sweet Kyle, he will be so very missed

Unfortunately I received some incredibly sad news today. One of these dear friends passed away early this morning leaving his beautiful wife and 2 young sons behind. Kyle was a great dad, husband, friend, and devout Christian. He actually called me while I was in New York and I am so glad I missed his call because I have a voice message from him that I will save forever. What I am not happy about, and have been dealing with the guilt over, is that I didn't call him back. I was going to actually call him today since I flew in late last night. The whole trip was a whirlwind and I wanted to be able to call and catch up without the distractions. I am thankful to have been given the news in person. Tom and his wife Donna drove to our homes to let each of us know and I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must have been since Tom and Kyle were best friends. This is the second person we have lost from our group of old friends and my heart aches thinking about it. First Chris and now Kyle...sure reminds us all to treasure each moment and each loved one. Life is so delicate and short. Please keep Kyle's family in your prayers.

Prayers Needed

Hello my wonderful friends. So I leave tomorrow morning for NY! I will meet up with Joe in Chicago since he is there on business and we will fly the rest of the way together. Then Danielle and Kendall will fly in on separate redeyes and arrive Saturday morning. This is our last "family of 5" trip before Kendall is a married lady!

I humbly ask for you all to keep me in your thoughts and prayers...especially on Friday, April 15th. No, not because I am in trouble with it being tax day but because I will be meeting Dr Traina at Memorial Sloan Kettering to get advice on my next step with more chemo. I know I want to pursue more chemo but I am feeling extremely lost as to which type to get. I ask for your prayers that I will have clarity after talking with her. I have been patiently waiting for God's direction with this but truly don't feel I have had a clear sign yet. It is time to make the big decision and I am at a loss.

I should have started chemo this week but then I wouldn't have been able to take this trip. We had to schedule it around Kendall's spring break and this is the only time we could really do it. It is what it is and I just have to trust that this 2 week delay won't make a difference. I feel so excited for the trip and our family time together!!!  It is a true blessing and I so thankful for it.

Off I go and I just know I will feel all of your prayers and thoughts on the 15th!!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

XO,

Beth 

(I don't return until the evening of the 18th so I won't be able to blog until I get back and catch my breath but I will let you all know how it went as soon as possible)

Radiation-less Week!

Yup, I graduated from radiation! 8 boosts to start with followed by 25 "regular" sessions, equalling 33 appointments (notice how I did the math for you there!). I am all done and my coconut is officially toasted. They told me that the burning would continue to build during the week following, much like I was still getting treatments, but I did not experience that. In fact it has already started healing. I am peeling and the edges look like I am dirty...lovely! ;o) They also told me to expect fatigue but I can't say I suffered from that either. All in all, this was by far the easiest part of all of this and my car practically drives itself to UCSD now. I wish I had to do more radiation instead of chemo!

I think a good part of what made this the easiest part is that I loved my doctor, Dr Yashar, and I loved all of the wonderful techs that took care of me! They were the sweetest each and every day. What a blessing they all were. On one of my appointments I was laying on the table and I told them (okay, I bragged to them...whatever) that Cameron was Gaston and that we were seeing him perform that weekend. One of the girls excitedly said that he was the second person she had met that had worked as a Disney character since her college friend played a character in Florida. I laid there and asked myself whether I should share my history...I decided to go for it and said, "actually you have met 3." I then told her of my Snow White past and that I truly married Prince Charming. They loved it but it meant I had to dig up an old photo to show them. Well...on my "graduation" day all of the techs working that day all took me out to ring the bell in the lobby and then they presented me with a very special, one of a kind, certificate!

Unfortunately when my friend Wendy and I went out to the parking lot, I discovered I had locked the keys in the car! Yes I did! I was in Cam's car since she and I went on a bike ride in Coronado that morning. We got to celebrate by waiting for an hour for AAA.

My beautiful set of rings from
my family is now complete.
I just love them for thinking
of doing this for me!
SO blessed!

The next chapter in all of this will be on April 15th. I will be seeing a specialist in NY for some input on this chemo decision. No, I am not flying back there just for this. Our family is traveling back to join Cameron for a last "Sczempka vacation" since Kendall is tying the knot soon! I thought that if I could get the pieces to fall into place with seeing her while I was there then it was meant to be. Guess God had it in His plans for me because they made time in the doctors schedule to fit me in. Please keep me in your prayers for a great appointment and total clarity on this next step.

Blessings

So something hit me today. I said something along the lines of, "I have cancer" and I realized that I need to believe and buy into that I DON'T have cancer any longer. I mean the surgeon removed the cancer that we knew I had and the radiation has now made sure that any linger cells in that area are killed off. Technically I AM CANCER FREE and that felt wonderful! I guess it never really hit me before now. I AM CANCER FREE! That sounds and feels wonderful. I need to just keep focusing on that and enjoy it. After all, this second round of chemo is precautionary and I am going to only think of it that way. 

These last few days have been filled with so much enlightenment and joy. I have been overcome with a sense of peace and growth. I am sure that being Holy Week has helped with that. May you all have a beautiful and blessed Easter!

Quick Update

Not much to tell but Joe and I met with my oncologist yesterday. She is willing to do more chemo for me and has offered 2 choices. One is carboplatin and the other is Xeloda. The first is an infusion like my others and would be done at the infusion center through my port (aka Arnold the Terminator). The second is in pill form and something I would do at home/work. There is more research and results with the carboplatin in this setting but what I read is that it is more successful with BRCA+ patients and I am not. I have a lot of research to do still but have time for it since I need to wait a minimum of 2 weeks after radiation finishes (which is this Friday!!!). My doctor is out of town the 3rd week and I am out town the 4th week so it looks like a month before things get started. We are running a blood test on me to make sure I can have the Xeloda. I guess a small percentage of people don't have a certain enzyme that is needed for it. That could make my mind up for me!

That's really it for now. Please pray for clarity for me so I know what to do here. It is so hard to CHOOSE which chemo to have when you don't particularly WANT it...I just know it is a good idea and will make me feel like I did everything I could do. I guess this is like the saying, "Pick you poison!" lol