AC #2 ... Check!

Jan was a blast and wanted to
rock her #2!

More "Koolaide" go get it
AC!

Yup, AC #2 is officially done and I will go back today for my Neulasta injection. It boosts my blood counts since the AC does a number on them. My nurse was explaining that before these most people either ended up with a hospital stay in between or blood transfusions. She said about the time they'd get their counts back up it would be time for yet another treatment. Yikes...I am happy to go get my injection! It can cause some bone pain because it goes in and stimulates the bone marrow production but last time I got it I didn't have any that I really noticed...where some wood to knock on!

FaceTime with
Cam and Jill

I finished my cats!

Unfortunately Danielle ended up with the flu and was unable to come down. ;o( Fortunately Lucia was able to keep me company in her place! Joe took me there and stayed a bit and then Lucia overlapped and was there for the rest and a yummy lunch at Seasons 52.  

Blessings and the Cammie Boy is Coming Home!

A big blessing this last week was truly turning this surgery decision over to God. I pray for Him to give me the right questions, give the doctors the right answers and for me to see clearly where He guides me from there. I would love for the doctors to not just consider stats and percentages for me but to really be open to a deeper direction in the decision. I will see if I have the nerve to ask them that! ;o)

Yippee, Cam is flying in this Tuesday! He is here for an indefinite amount of time. He is going to play it all by ear and by heart, he just really wanted to be closer to home during this time and we are all happy to have him coming out here. The holidays wouldn't have been the same without him.

Wishing you all a fun and Happy Halloween! 

Just had to share my cute card from my
adorable great-niece...her "Ant" Beth loves
 her dearly!

My Week Off...

Wow, it sure was wonderful to have this last week off with no treatments! I needed the time to recover since I did something stupid. I absolutely hate taking steroids and on these 4 treatments I get them intravenously on the treatment day and then I take them the next 3 days twice a day. Well...instead of taking 1 pill twice a day I took 2! By Sunday I felt like caca and thought it was the AC I got on Thursday. I even got super dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out at the walk on Sunday. Then Sunday night the lightbulb went off and I figured it all out and had to confess my stupidity to my super intelligent, perfect doctor that probably makes no mistakes. She was super sweet about it and said it would work it's way out of my system. It tore my stomach up and I am still paying for it. 

One problem with my stomach is that my mouth wants stuff my stomach can't handle and I need to learn to so no to my mouth's desires! They said AC would be a lot like when I was pregnant. I feel generally queazy most of the time and I have the strangest cravings...like Jack in the Box tacos! Seriously? Learned my lesson on that one! OUCH!!! Other than that I handled the AC extremely well and Dr Parker said I should do well with the other 3! 

Fun Stuff and New Hair!

Lucia and I after lunch at Jakes

I took this pic of a seagull that
was walking on the awning
above us at Jakes. I loved how
the feet are colored and the body
is just a shadow!

What have I done with this week off you ask? Besides seeing some clients, which I LOVE being at work and being with the girls there, I was able to spend time with some friends and Joe on my days off. First my friend Catie and I had a fun day of running around and then my buddy Lucia (aka Nina to my kids) had a day together. I have known Lucia since elementary school and she is Cam's Godmother.

Do I look cute or what!?

She had a little surprise in store for me. My dear, sweet, loving, generous high school friends all pitched in and bought me my "dream wig" that I had decided was just too expensive and was going to do without!  Yup...I have some new hair everyone! Let me tell you, it feels and looks just like my hair did! Up to now I have really dreaded looking in the mirror and have felt extremely self conscious. I thought I was self conscious as a teen but this takes the cake. This disease robs so much from you and it is hard to feel pretty and feel "normal". As soon as I put this on (and trust me, I did it in the car while Lucia was driving because I couldn't wait another minute) I just couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. I wore it today to the Safari Park with Joe and even pinned part of it back. It felt incredible to feel my hair blowing in the wind on the tram tour and feel like everyone around me would know I had a wig on. Wow, freedom! I cannot express my gratitude enough for this gift and I love you all so dearly for doing this for me. Thank you Lucia & Mark, Melodie & Greg, Tom & Chris, Tommy & Donna, Kyle & Stephanie! XOXO

The tigers really cooperated today!
They were AMAZING!

Fun time with Joe at the Safari Park

Keep the Prayers Flying!

Please keep those prayers coming my prayer warriors! Please pray that I continue to respond well to the last 3 treatments and PLEASE pray for God to make my path clear on my surgery decision. It's either lumpectomy or bilateral mastectomy and I am so confused that I have had to hand it all over to God and I am just waiting for my path to become clear on it. Of course I will do my part and meet again with both doctors and go over my growing list of questions. Looks like surgery may on on December 30th now so that is cool!  I love you all and thank you for all of your prayers, I feel them and I am so thankful for each and everyone of you. I am so blessed to be surrounded by so much love and so much prayer! This Thursday will be treatment #2 and Danielle will be down so I am excited to see her! 

Proud Madre

Okay, quick bragging moment. I cannot believe everything Cameron fits in! Between working at The Mill in New York, a large advertising firm, he is still going on auditions, finding time for his lovely girlfriend Jill, and playing volleyball! His team travelled to Philly to play in a tournament and they took first place! Can't wait to get him here on November 3rd! Here is the medal and pic of the team...go Cammie! (Cam is second one on the right back row #7)

The Walk was a Success!

Well the Making Strides walk today was a huge success for the "We Can Do It" team thanks to everyone that came out to join us and to everyone that donated to the cause. We were able to hit our $1000 goal and that was really cool! Thank you so much to everyone that donated! 

The walk was in Balboa Park and the place was packed with people all with one cause in mind...put an end to breast cancer. AMEN!! There were some pretty funny shirts, lots of funny wigs, boas and tons of pink. Even for someone like me that hates pink it was pretty cool to see it all there for such a good reason.

I was not feeling up to doing the 4 mile walk today but Joni hung back with me and we did some rosary time while we waited and then joined the gang to cross the finish line. My heart is so full with joy with all of the friends and family that were able to come and make it such a special and memorable day. Thank you...I love you all! Here are some fun pics from today:

The whole gang before the walk.
Check out those muscle!

Kendall, Heather and Christian

Prayer group buddies! I love them!

Me and my sweet Deanna!

The big start!

They did it!

The fun selfie they sent me! Thanks Adam!

FaceTime with my Awesome Teens at Church

So tonight was a first for me, I have taught confirmation for many years but I have never done it virtually before! Thanks to my awesome small group of kids and my totally great Core Team leaders because they did not give up on me when my need to stay away from germs kept me from being there in person tonight. They managed to set up a FaceTime session and not only did I get to work with them on their lesson but I got to see all of their wonderful faces and smiles! This is such a special group of kids and I am so blessed to share this faith journey with them as they prepare for their Confirmation. They sent me a great selfie and then I was able to screen shot them during our talk tonight. Sure do love this kids so much! Soul feeding day and evening for sure. Many Blessings!

Best teens EVER!! (I am in the bottom right)

One Last Photo

Kendall and Christian are big time into CrossFit and their gym out in Poway did a Breast Cancer Workout so in keeping with the pink theme I thought I would share this as well! 

Brand X Poway CrossFit

We couldn't decide if we should
start with #1 again since it is
actually treatment #13 but we
thought the count down would
be better this way!

Here We Go Again...

So today was the day. I had a my first week with no treatment last week and then today was the big day to start treatment #1 of 4 of AC. Kendall drove me and Joe came to and was able to stay for quite awhile before needing to go to work. We started the day by being late, what the heck with with the traffic on the 56 this morning! The good thing was that after that everything went relatively smoothly. This one is quite different and one of the bad parts is that my steroids go up quite a bit with it. That means less sleep for me, argh! 

Cam's traditional call!
My AC in sign is
backwards because it
was for his phone! ;o)

My support crew today!

I started with some premeds through my port and then the "A" of the AC came. It was in 2 very large syringes and is RED. They do not call this the Red Devil for nothing. I guess it is because it is supposed to be very tough on the cancer...and a little tough on me. Danielle decided that it needed a "nicer" name so she dubbed it Kool-Aid and I love it! The nurse does a push with this med which means she sits there and very slowly empties the syringes into my line, no bag hanging like the others. Then after that she hooked up the bag for the "C" part of the treatment. We didn't start until 11 and were out by 1:45. Not bad!

Afterwards Kendall and I went to Del Mar for our beach rosary time. It was rather over cast and a little cooler so it felt great! Then we grabbed a bite at a place in Del Mar Heights Center. I need to be SUPER careful of what I eat now and about germs. Most of everything I eat needs to be prepared at home and really mostly everything needs to be cooked. Can only do fruits that I can vigorously scrub. Its just for a short time so no biggie! 

Rosary time at Del Mar

No toes in the sand for now but
this was a great substitution!

So what is left of my hair should completely fall out very soon. I am as ready as I can be for it. God was so kind to let me loose it a little at a time and what I have really doesn't do much good at this point anyway. It's officially wig or hat time folks...we need some cold weather for sure!

Blessings and Good News!

So I went to see my surgeon, Dr Wallace, and after examining me she informed me that she and Dr Parker addressed and discussed my MRI results and both agree that what they are feeling (or more like not feeling) does not reflect the findings. She said that the results from a MRI can lag which means that it could be seeing scar tissue and such verses just the tumor/s. After her examination she feels that I have had a very good response from the taxol! What great news before heading into the AC portion. God is so awesome! 

Now, do not go letting that praying slip or slack off! I know you all played a big role in this great news so keep it coming prayer warriors! Please continue to pray for a total response to the treatments for NED at the time of surgery and if y'all could add a new one it would be great. Please pray for continued clarity from God to make clear my path on future decisions. The surgeon is suggesting a lumpectomy and sentinel lymph node test with a possible lymph node dissection if they are suspicious. I am still considering a mastectomy since I have been a walking time bomb with all of this for so many years that I have lost count! My endocrinologist referred me to colleague that I will talk with. I know I want Dr Wallace to do the surgery, I love her and her positive energy and she is one of the best breast surgeons around but I want to gather more info to make my decision. This is a huge decision and I cannot imagine doing it without God's direction!

Another wonderful thing that happened was that the prayer group I was in for the 8 months, leading right up to my diagnosis, decided to gather again for a very special prayer night. Debbie Linn came up with the idea and generously hosted and had a yummy dinner for everyone as well. We sat outside eating wonderful food and enjoyed each other's company. Then inside to pray the rosary. It was so moving hearing everyone's voices being lifted up and blending together as we prayed. It was more beautiful than a song to my ears! I cannot begin to thank Debbie for this and for everyone that was able to come. It was wonderful having Alicia Gelaro join us as well...I hope she knows that means she will have to join us when we start gathering again! ;o)

Thank you all for your continued love, support and prayers. Each and every prayer, short or long mean so much and it's working!

Love,

Beth  

Breast Cancer Walk This Sunday!!!

So Kendall and Deanna, at work, thought they would like to do the Making Strides walk this Sunday, October 18. Kendall set up a team awhile back but I have to admit that I really didn't get behind it and was being a bit of a poop about it. I was not in a good place at the time and I just didn't want to even talk about breast cancer any more than I had to. WELL...so now the date is almost here and I felt like Kendall and Deanna deserved the support as well as the cause deserving the support. So far we have Deanna's daughters coming and my friend Erin Rowland.

The money raised goes to American Breast Cancer through the American Cancer Society. The posters are up all over Moores/UCSD and I just cannot ignore it any longer! 

Do you want to help? There a couple of different ways to do that: 

~One way is simply keep them in your prayers and good wishes along with the other walkers! 

~Another way is to come join them! It is this Sunday at 8AM in Balboa Park. There is no fee to come join the team and walk with them. It is only 4 miles and it is WALKING! Not running!

~Lastly, this whole thing is about raising money to help breast cancer research, so if you'd like to make a donation to the team goal that would be great too. No donation is too small, every dollar certainly helps! 

Link to the team page: 

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?team_id=1873149&fr_id=69968&pg=team

Just copy and paste the link into your browser. If it doesn't work for you let me know. 

I am truly hoping to feel well enough to be there to walk or at least be a cheerleader for the team!!! If you are planning on joining the team please sign in on our team page and let us know so I can give you Kendall's cell number. She will set up a meeting spot to gather everyone so the team can walk together and so I can have a photo of everyone! Hope the short notice doesn't keep you from coming. You should be done plenty early to still have your whole day open!

Short and to the Point

Sorry for the delayed post today. I just got home and it is 10:15PM. It has been a long day for sure! So today was the MRI results day and Danielle drove down last night to be there with me. Joe ended up being able to make it after all and met us there. 

Good news and bad news. Let's start by saying that I really didn't hear what I wanted to hear today. 

The bad news is that the MRI shows that the tumor has not shrunk from before the 12 taxol treatments. It still measure 2.5 cm. Both Dr Parker and I are surprised to hear this because it is very hard to feel now. I used to be able to feel it very clearly and it was like an olive under my skin. I have to really search for it now and when I do find it I would say it is more pea sized. These tumors can be very aggressive so the fact that it did not grow is good though. They also can be very receptive to chemo and often shrink and die but I just guess mine didn't react that way to this particular round. I am still thinking they are seeing scar tissue or dense breast matter and that they are WRONG!!!

The good news is that the MRI did not pick up any lymph node involvement so there is still a possibility that it has not spread to my lymph node/s. So now a week from today (Thursday) I will start the AC treatments. I need everyone to send up prayers that these 2 new meds I will get every 2 weeks will kick my cancer's butt!!! From here to oblivion!! Have at it everyone, please send up those prayers that I will still here those lovely letters NED (no evidence of disease) when the time comes!  

After we left the doctor's office Danielle drove me to LA and we shopped for some fun new holiday stuff for the salon. New jewelry and scarves just in time for the holidays! Then I took the train home where Joe picked me up and I went straight to Betty King's for our "bunko that doesn't play bunko" night. We had a lovely dinner and discussed so many fun things! What a great bunch of friends! Then they surprised me with a beautiful new book bag and filled it with books that everyone brought for me. So many books and not enough time! I cannot wait to read them all. I am so blessed!

Okay, I have some other stuff I want to write about but this tired little puppy needs to get to bed. I just wanted to make sure I got this posted so you all had the news from the MRI. 

On My Way...

Okay everyone, I am just heading out to see the doctor for my MRI results. Danielle drove down to be with me, what an awesome kid! ;o)  I wanted to let you all know that we are heading straight from there to LA so I can get jewelry for the holidays at the salon. I figured this was probably my last chance to do it before my immune system takes the hit from the new treatments.

That means that I have to leave you all hanging unfortunately because I do not know how to post on this from my phone. I will be taking the train back from LA tonight and going straight to Betty King's for our "bunko" night (we don't actually play bunko anymore, we just get together and enjoy each other's company!). 

I PROMISE to post the minute I get home tonight though.  I am so sorry to do this, I wish I were more tech savvy!  

Please say your prayers, off we go...

XO,

Beth 

Bye-Bye Taxol!

#12 Bonnie was great! 

So nice to be officially done with phase one of my treatment. I got through my 12 weekly taxol infusions with flying colors. Sure, I had some very undesirable side effects and the doctor was right that they get worse each time but all in all I feel like I did pretty darn good with them. The most important part about it though is that they are all DONE!!!  

I get 1 week off from treatment and then we roll into phase 2, the 4 AC treatments. These are tougher and will be every 2 weeks. They are harder on the blood counts so the day after treatment I go back in for a shot to boost them back up. I hear the worst part of the AC is nausea but they claim to have pretty good meds for that and then the shot the day after is supposed to cause bone pain. The medicine is red in color so they have warned me that my urine will be red so not to panic that I am bleeding...lovely!

One other big milestone is coming up. I get my MRI next Tuesday afternoon and see my doctor on Thursday morning for the results. This is huge since it is the first look to see how my tumors are responding to the chemo. I need some major prayers flowing between now and then that they will be blown away and shocked over how much they have shrunk. What the heck, lets all pray that they can't even see the tumors and that they are already non-existent?!?! I am ready and willing to be a miracle of God's handy work!!! However you want to word it, let's just pray that I get some great news on Thursday! Thanks prayer warriors!

Maureen and Wendy getting
their coloring on!

I love my colored pencils!

 So how did my day go Thursday? First of all Joe is out of town all week and doesn't come home until late Sunday. I have really missed him and I know he hated being gone for my last taxol. My friend Wendy took me again and another friend, Maureen came and joined us. We played a fun card game Maureen brought but had to stop because we were being too noisy, laughing so hard we had tears rolling down our faces, and were worried we were disturbing other patients. We decided that coloring might be a better choice and moved on to our colored pencils and quiet visiting. I had a really cool nurse named Bonnie and she made the morning quite entertaining! I helped add the 2 extra fingers for #12 this time. 

My kids put this together and sent it to me!

Joe's first time needing
to call in! ;o(

Afterward the 3 of us had lunch at La Jolla Shores at Caroline's and then Wendy and I did some beach time. We had a great chat and then Wendy walked the beach while I had some awesome Rosary time. Since I get easily distracted I decided to lay on my back and just listen to the waves while I prayed. I was rewarded by some incredible cloud formations above me that looked like God was finger painting in the sky with them. It was so peaceful and I just loved it!

Blessings

I am trying to keep my eyes open for the many blessings and wonders that God surrounds us with each and every day. So often we take them for granted because we are just too busy or preoccupied...or even too attached to our phones to notice. It could be hearing a bird sing, spotting a monarch butterfly, hearing a child laugh. For me, even being able to feel my toes in the sand at the beach and letting the shallow waves touch my feet is a gift. Think of how many people will never see or feel what it is like to be on a beach! I challenge each of you to try and find 3 blessings every day. Try to not make it be about the obvious like your family or friends. Try to make it be something in nature, something unexpected. Maybe it is noticing something that you walk past every day, maybe it's a beautiful sunset or the sound of leaves crunching under your feet. Whatever it is try to find 3 a day and let them soak in! Slow down and look, smell, hear, feel what is around you...let it wake up your senses...let it add to your gratitude! Have a wonderful weekend everyone and thanks for reading. I love your feedback whether it is a response on here or in an email. It is so nice to know you are on the other end reading these!  

#12 Post is Coming Soon...

I am being whisked off to Julian for the day by my dear friend Kathy right now so I promise to write my post about yesterday's #12 and FINAL day of Taxol!  Yup, I am all done with phase one of my chemo and get 1 week off after 12 in a row! Woo-Hoo. Can't wait to tell you all about my great day yesterday and how it all went.

Stay tuned...and thanks for joining me on this journey, it means the world to me to have such great company! Love to you all! XOXO ~ Beth

Make sure you see the post before this one though, it's all about my hair (or lack there of!)