The Decision...
Today certainly held an awful lot of information! Joe was out of town so my dear friend Alicia came with me (and it was even her birthday today!). She is great at asking intelligent questions and absorbing information so I knew she was a great choice. We met with my surgeon, Dr Ann Wallace, to go over my MRI results and to discuss my surgery options.
MRI - if you remember, my last MRI that was between my Taxol and AC treatments didn't show really any reduction in the size of my tumor. Well last Monday's MRI only shows that it shrunk about 1/2 of it's original size. Now the "my cup is half empty" attitude is sad because that probably means more chemo for me. We won't know for sure until after surgery and pathology reports are back but I need to realize that there is a very good chance that I am facing more chemo. The "my cup is half full" attitude says yippee, at least the chemo did something and I can hope that it has killed any possible rogue cells any where else. And hey, 1/2 is better than nothing at all! I cannot let my mind even start thinking about the chemo...I truly feel like I am not going to be able to drag myself in there again and first things first...I need to get myself ready for my surgery that is right around the corner!
Surgery - Well, I said that I was keeping my mind and heart open to be directed to the right decision and let me tell you...when you do that you just never know where it will lead you. I was absolutely 100% sure that I was going in today to talk my doctor into a bi-lateral mastectomy. Dr Wallace was absolutely amazing with us. She spent at least an hour in there and just sat in a chair talking with us and gave us her undivided attention. She spoke with great compassion and I have the utmost confidence in her advice. Here are the key points from that conversation and why I have decided to have a lumpectomy.
- Having a bi-lateral or uni-lateral mastectomy (that is done properly) is like recovering from a amputation. It throws the body into a massive recovery mode that compromises the immune system and everything else. It could also compromise my body's ability to fight any possible cancer cells elsewhere
- Of course my recovery time would be longer and that would postpone me starting chemo and radiation
- I could possibly never be back to 100% as far as my ability to do what I do for a living again
- I wanted a mastectomy because I was worried about getting breast cancer again. I was trying to avoid a cancer I may never get when the important thing for me to do is to fight the cancer I have right now. The best way to do that is to give my body a fighting chance and that is to go with a lumpectomy
- She explained that she would lose sleep over my decision of a mastectomy because she knows that is not the right path for me and my care
Dr Wallace is the head of breast surgery at UCSD and I am beyond blessed to be under her care and that of my oncologist, Barbara Parker, who is the head of oncology there. I have to trust in them and their advice.
So that's about it for today. I am not going to lie, I am a bit sad and disappointed that my tumor didn't disappear and that I didn't get some miraculous news today. Just more lessons and messages from God are waiting for me I guess. The journey continues...
Blessings (some times they are mixed blessings)
So I am sure most of you have heard about Jimmy Carter's success with his cancer. He has been receiving immune therapy and his cancer has disappeared. Well, awhile back I found out about a clinical trial for triple negative breast cancer patients that involves an immunization. I have been communicating with the immunologist that is doing the research and in order to be considered for his study, I have to have disease left in my tumor at the time of surgery. I honestly feel this type of treatment is the way of the future with curing cancer and even though my news today was not what I had hoped it to be at least it puts me closer to maybe being able to receive this immunization. I know there are no guarantees with me getting into the study but this makes it a possibility for me. I am just trying to find a silver lining in all of this.
Prayers
I know so many of you like me to be specific with my prayer requests about my recovery. It is hard for me to come up with that right now. My mind is just spinning out of control with all of the information today. I will just leave it up to all of you for now if that okay.
I would however like to ask all of you to pray for the family we have adopted for Christmas. They sadly just lost the father/husband to a heart attack last month so it is just the mom and 4 kids ages 7 and under. I can't even begin to imagine the sorrow they must all be experiencing and I hope that we can bring them some unexpected joy this Christmas.
May you all be enjoying this blessed season!
Hi, Beth, you are always in my prayers. I had 16 rounds of chemo too, and as much as it is absolutely no fun, it is keeping you alive for the wonderful things to come. You will be guided to the choices that are in your highest and best interest. God bless, and Merry Christmas. Chris Haden
ReplyDeleteHi, Beth, you are always in my prayers. I had 16 rounds of chemo too, and as much as it is absolutely no fun, it is keeping you alive for the wonderful things to come. You will be guided to the choices that are in your highest and best interest. God bless, and Merry Christmas. Chris Haden
ReplyDeleteThank you Chris!
DeleteBeth, I continue to prayer for you and put your name on the prayer roll at the Temple. You are an inspiration to me on so many levels but most importantly in the area of faith and putting your trust in God. I'll send you a text of what we can do to help you with your family you've adopted. Love you xxoo
ReplyDeleteThank you my dear friend!
DeleteBeth, I prayer daily for comfort when there are bumpy roads and many decisions, and for the strength to face these challenges. Your surgeon sounds phenomenal and perhaps the chance for the immunization is the silver lining. One day at a time. Blessings and love. Jeanette
ReplyDeleteThank you Jeanette, that means a lot to me coming from you! I know you know doctors very well! ;o) XO
DeleteBeth, Betty sent me the link to your blog again, so I can keep up with your progress. Praying for peace for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you have such a fantastic team of doctors working with you. Those explanations make perfect sense when spelled out for you. I had a breast reduction a year ago and still can't raise my arms fully. Doing hair would be painful and slow for me so I see their point if you had even a more complex surgery.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you in general. God knows your needs.
In what way can I help this family? Monetary donation or gifts? Please let me know.
Take care, Beth. You are doing an amazing job of coping and dealing with this. You are a blessing to all of us.
Xoxo
Priscilla
Thank you for your encouragement Priscilla. The doctor said that hairstylists are breast surgeons biggest challenge since we need full use of our arms. It takes a long time to get us back in the saddle! Thank you for asking about our adopted family!!! Gift cards would be of great help. I want to give this mom some gift cards so she doesn't feel so strapped with money during this time. SHe grocery shops at Albertsons and Walmart and gets gas at Arco and Cheveron. She buys the kids clothes at Target mostly. Her sister has been helping me find out info so we can surprise her. I also need to check your address, I am doing Christmas cards and I believe yours came back to me last year. XOXO
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