Tres Mas!

Monica the quick!

Add them up, they make 9!

Well #9 is officially done and that means 3 more to go for round 1 of chemo! Yup, 3 More (that is your translation for the title and if you don't speak at least that much Spanish and live in SD then shame on you! ;o) I had Monica today for my nurse. She was quick so we got out in record time!

Cam's version of 9 

Danielle headed down after work on Wednesday night and got here around 10PM. I still can't believe she does this but I am so thankful that she does. She and Joe went with me and Joe was able to stay for a bit before heading to work, it is always so special to have him there. As I type this Danielle is back on the road to LA already but at least this time she was able to stay for dinner. 

What a view!

Sunscreen to a new level!

Afterwards we headed to the beach because I have been longing to put my toes in the sand. This is hard to do since the sun blisters my skin now so I was the weirdo, in this lovely hot weather, covered from head to toe. It was worth it though, I have missed it so much and can't wait to get back to boogie boarding next summer (I am sure it will involve my friend Wendy!).  We also did our Rosary there and you couldn't beat the view! One yummy lunch later and we were headed home for Danielle's nap and a trip to church for me.

Improvement

I have been really working on getting better with the "head stuff."  Of course the thanks goes to the "Big Guy" up there! My spiritual journey has been amazing so far and I look forward to many more lessons and messages! I have never experienced anything like this happening in my life to this proportion before and really didn't know how to handle it. I mean, I am the strong one, the one that loves helping others try to figure things out and deal with things. I take care of others. What the heck? Then it didn't help either that I was diagnosed with PTSD over how some things got handled for me. The cancer that I have (triple negative, invasive breast cancer) has a real tough side to it. Only 60% of the people get to 5 years without a reoccurrence and that means metastatic cancer...no cure. There, I said it (okay, I typed it). I have NOT been able to bring myself to do that before now. That number counts women with much less invasive results as mine. THAT IS WHY I KEEP ASKING Y'ALL TO PRAY. Please pray for "NED" no evidence of disease when surgery happens...heck, even before that! I need tons of healthy white bloods cells reproducing like crazy to keep my body healthy and organs working well and I need tons of killer T-cells hunting down and killing ALL cancer cells in my body. I need to chemo to work the way it is supposed to. Because it is invasive I need any possible stray cancer cells hunted down and killed as well. I welcome and appreciate your prays so much! You can always add on the words "cancers cells permanently removed" if you don't mind. ;o)

I am slowly but surely taking my baby steps towards learning to live my life while this is all going on. So hard when there are so many parts of it throwing curve balls my way. Between the sun problems and feeling closed in, the new nutritional challenges, body reactions and feeling pumped with steroids (they keep me awake!), losing my hair, poop issues (I know TMI), the list continues. With that being said, I still feel so blessed that my reactions/side effects have not been worse. I feel pretty happy and thankful about that! What I need to remind myself of every day is: 

A) One day at a time B) Give it over to God every day, again and again...wash, repeat... C) Breath, Pray, Trust, Believe (not always in that order) D) Be thankful for EVERYTHING and count ALL blessings and victories! E) the Biggest one of all that I still have not conquered is QUIT worrying about what is not here yet and hopefully will NOT ever be here...reoccurrence. It hangs over me like a dark cloud when it sets in. It sneaks up on me in the day and even when I sleep. Satan is powerful and I am putting the boxing gloves on more and more as I sort this all out and continue to grow. 

F.E.A.R. = false evidence appearing real. Yup, the fear of what to come is NOT real. What is real needs my full attention and all my efforts to win this battle. That is the cancer that is there and I am fighting against along with the treatments. Baby steps but in the right direction at least!

Blessings

I found this little heart shaped
rock on the beach today. A
nice little message from God!

I am blown away by the people that surround my life! You are all so incredible and I am a very blessed woman for sure! I have had a hard time allowing people to help me and I must admit I have been rather "toxic" at times. It stills rears it's ugly head and I just hate it! At least I am making steps that are bigger than baby steps with this but when it happens I think, "Who the heck said that?" I am sorry if you have been a recipient of words or actions, or even lack of actions that didn't seem like Beth. 

With that being said, so many of you have not given up on me and I thank you for that. From my family, at home and at the salon, to the wonderful friends bringing yummy food to our house (even with my weird food restrictions and choices), to the best home made organic green drinks ever (that I know are keeping me healthy), to the clients I am able to see that have been so flexible and understanding, to the friends that keep me busy when I am not at work, to my friends that accompany me on my treatments, to the card senders, gift dropper offers, blog readers and prayer warriors, book helpers, text messagers that see if I need errands ran (yup, you Dede!), the list goes on and on. I couldn't do it without you! You are part of my team and I am so blessed by each and everyone one of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and may God bless you all!

Ended the day with this incredible view of the
sunset from our backyard...thank you God!

One last photo that cracked me up from today. Good help is so hard to find! All electronic devices will be collected when accompanying me to treatment!  Okay, just kidding. I even use mine too in there sometimes. I love you two oodles!