My Lesson Last Night

DO NOT be stupid and fill your head with info from the internet before going to bed!  Yup, I did it again!  How many times does it take for this thick headed girl to learn a lesson?!  Hopefully only 2 times so I will be done repeating that one.  My mom said doing something once is human but repeating it is stupid.  ;o)  I have wanted to read a blog of a mutual friend's that has triple negative cancer as well.  She was diagnosed earlier this year so it is also something fairly new for her as well.  She is a great writer and has a great attitude but reading it scared the s#*t out of me.  My heart was pounding out of my chest!!!  After I regained some self control and spent some time praying I reminded myself of what the doctors told me...everyone's cancer, treatment and road to recovery is VERY individualized, especially with triple negative cancer!  Then I reminded myself of what God told me...He is greater than any numbers, ratios and percentages!  So this girl is going to lay off the things that scare her and shake her faith.  I want to only surround myself with positive things and people.  That doesn't mean I think ignorance is bliss and that I don't plan on keeping educated about my disease.  I need to know things to help in the big decisions coming soon but I certainly do not need to scare the crap out of myself again!  Whew, so glad to feel better today and have my heart at a "normal" rate again.

A Day Off

No work today...woo hoo!  As much as I love being there and seeing my family there and love the distraction of doing hair it is always nice to have a day of catching up and peace.  I started my day by looking at my bedside clock and decided to jump out of bed and run out even before making the bed. If you know me, you know my bed is made before I start my day so this was an important reason to rush out.  I decided to take Father Anthony's advice and go to morning mass.  I went to OLMC and was AMAZED over how many cars were in the lot.  Wow, what a revelation that so many faith filled people are out there...sure made me smile!  Afterwards I was able to pay a little visit to Mary and go in the small and beautiful chapel there.  I even filled a little bottle of Holy Water before I left.

Guess what I did after that?  I went to the gym!  Yup, I didn't over do it but it sure felt good to be there and do something healthy for this body!  I get my nails done by my sweet Deana (aka best manicurist in the world) at 4 and will be the lady at her MRI appointment tonight at 7 with the best looking nails around!  That test is supposed to really help my excellent, genius team of doctors to decide what comes next.

Blessings

It is amazing to be feeling God changing me from the inside out.  Now don't get me wrong, He has been working on me for many years now by changing my heart and showing me the things He wants me to do for others.  Lately though he has been changing my eyes and how they communicate with my heart.  What does this mean?  It means I am finally getting what it means to look at others through His eyes.  I have a long way to go but it is amazing now when I look at other people how differently my heart feels about them.  Its like I love each and everyone of them.  Even the guy that always has a way of passing gas near me at the gym!  lol  No, I really mean this and don't want to mask it with humor.  When I look at someone I feel like I can feel their heart.  I think about what might they be going through right now in their lives. What challenges and joys they may be experiencing in their own individual lives and I draw something from that.  This is something hard to put into words cause its more of a feeling and I am sure many of you are saying, "what the heck, is Beth going nuts?"  I am not going nuts and I am not turning into a freak...just appreciating life as much as I can and appreciating humans as much as I can.  Appreciating and loving all of you humans reading this blog is easy.  I know you, you are in my life, you care about me and we love each other and trust me, I value that GREATLY.  You can't all be there every moment or everywhere I am but where ever I go I see people and now they just don't seem like they are strangers anymore. Does that make sense?  If not now, I hope it does someday for you cause it's awesome!  Love you my friends!!