Coming out of the Cloud

A new day is here and like all the others before it, it is a blessing to have. I want you all to know that I am fighting like hell to get myself out of this cloud of doubt. I had some time this morning to pull myself together, spend some time in prayer and listen to the awesome playlist my friend Jen made me. I am actually being sung to right now as I type and being reminded how much He Loves Us! I love that song!

I am NOT alone and that truly makes me get up, put my warrior gear on, and prepare for this battle. You have all surrounded me with so much love and prayers. From messages, to cards to each and every way you have reached out to me. I have one of the greatest oncologists in the world fighting for me and most of all I have the love and protection from God. I couldn't ask for more and I need to count those blessings and drawn strength from them all.

God, long ago, placed the strong burning desire in my heart to be a grandmother and be able to watch my kids be parents. I know they will all be wonderful at it! He would not have given me that peek into my future if He was going to take it away and it is that desire that will keep me fighting through this. I am choosing to set my focus on that since it brings such great joy and helps me balance out my fear with my hope. 

I received a very nice message from my oncologist today about triple negative cancer that I'd like to share with you, it left me with so much more hope:

Regarding triple negative breast - should it recur there are many treatments and many in development that are very promising. So there is much hope!!!
It is always best to focus on what we know now and on the current first step, chemotherapy and to get through that then focus on surgery, then what does the pathology from surgery mean, then radiation, etc....
As we get information, we will share, discuss, and partner with you in all decisions.....
Again, much hope .... From the clinical trial ISPY2, from other clinical trials in the field...so we will keep that perspective.....

My new challenge is to get final approval from my insurance company to be able to participate in the clinical trial I am up for. They are holding things up so please pray and keep positive thoughts about that please. I am off to my kidney and ovary MRI today and my first meeting with my doctor from the radiation portion of my treatment plan. Lucia is taking me since Joe is out of town and Kendall is tutoring. I'll let you know how it goes.  

Until then Arnold is healing nicely, I feel like I got punched in the chest and it looks like a big cyst but otherwise it brings me great comfort to know that The Terminator is now part of my warrior gear and that he has a big job in all of this. Go get em' Arnie!!!