Victories and Great News

GREAT NEWS!!!  Found out yesterday that the genetic testing came back negative!  That means I do not have the genetic mutation in the BRCA 1 or 2 genes.  That means a whole lot by the way. Some of you may have heard about this after Angelina Jolie went public about her decision to have her breasts removed due to her positive test results. I don't want to go into great length and a genetic lesson here but let's just say that this is truly a complete blessing for both me and my daughters!!! I have asked you all to pray for 2 things on this journey for me and this was one of them so THANK YOU all for your prayers!

1 down and 1 to go!  That means that I now ask you all to focus your prayers on the next huge thing on this journey for me...to have all my cancer cells completely killed during this process of my treatments.  This can happen and I truly believe it will, especially with all of your continued prayers. I respond well to medications and I just know this chemo is going to destroy all the cancer in me! Please continue to keep me in your prayers and well wishes for this!

Cam-Man

Yup, one of the many nicknames we have for Cameron is Cam-man. Well, after last night I must say that he is truly living up to that name. He called to chat and check up on me. He has already made the decision to come home from NY in November to be here for me. I put up a fight at first because he is doing so well there and I hated to see him leave it. Well, he made it very clear to me that the decision was his to make and he had done so. Last night the man on the other line told me that I just needed to start getting used to being on the receiving end of being taken care of and that all of this is just what family does for each other. There was much more said and discussed but lets just say that when I hung up I just smiled thinking about what an awesome man my son is and how blessed I am by him. 

Blessings

So in mass today the reading was one of the stories about Martha and Mary (sisters of Lazarus). Afterward Fr Anthony gave a great homily about the differences of the 2 sisters. Martha is the busy worker always serving and trying to please others. She is doing God's work but is so busy that she doesn't stop to just "be".  Then there is Mary that puts the work aside to be in the moment. She is more prayerful and reverent in her ways. Fr Anthony pointed out how finding a balance of the 2 is important. 

It really got me thinking...I have been Martha all this time. Sure I pray but I am always looking for the work God wants me to do. I am a "doer" and like to jump in and take care of things for people.  I show my faith by doing and serving. I have always asked God to show me what He wants me to do for Him and He does. I love the work I have done in Mexico, at church, in Cambodia...even for my own family. I don't regret one moment of it at all.

But God has put the brakes on all of that for me. He is showing me that this period in my life and the journey He has laid out before me is a time when I can, and must spend more time becoming like Mary. It is a gift to become more needy on God and learn to just "be". My spiritual growth has already been immense and I look forward to it continuing.  I have a long way to go and my faith can still be shaken. I really wish I could learn to just turn my brain off sometimes...it is a total traffic jam in there! It jumps around to things I shouldn't let it jump to and makes me get all anxious. That is when I just need to "be"! When I leave church or get done praying I feel like my head, heart and soul are all full of the good things and thoughts. I wish I could take a key and lock it all in there and by doing that also locking out the thoughts that come in and start pushing it all out! It is quite a battle, let me tell you!  

This whole journey is all about who I am going to emerge out of it as. What will I learn, how will I grow? I want to be proud of myself when all the treatments are done and I keep trying to remind myself of that. One thing I know for sure is that I will have found a better balance with my inner Martha and Mary! I will continue to look for my blessings along the way.