Switching Roles

Poor Kendall had to be the one going to the doctor today. She had to have a gum graph done and I drove her to and from her appointment. As sorry as I was that she had to have this done, it felt like the world was spinning in the right direction again. I am used to being the caregiver not the one being cared for and it was nice to be mommy and take care of my daughter!  She is doing much better than last time and that is great!

So I mentioned that I have been having trouble shutting up my dark thoughts. They just keep sneaking in my head and heart and I know that is NOT good! A dear friend came all the way from LA to see me today and he said something that made sense. He said that if I had a loved one that was sick and someone came into my house and started telling them that they were going to die that I would tell them to shut up and kick them out of my house! Well that is what I am doing to myself and he said that I need to tell Beth to shut up and get out! He is totally right and I need to make that "Beth" get the heck out of here. There is no room for her in this house!! I like that, thank you Dennis!

Chemo Date

I finally have my first chemo date on the books. It may not be the kind of date I am usually excited about but in this case I am anxious to get this ball rolling! It is next Thursday, July 16 at 9:00 am. My insurance approved me for the clinical trial so now we all just need to pray that I am in the 80% that gets assigned to one of the legs of it. Either way I get the same standard of treatment but if I am put into the trial I will get put on an additional medicine. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send your prayers and good thoughts that I get this! Either way though, it all starts next Thursday.

Arnold The Terminator is healing nicely and I feel like we are becoming one. He will be the port to terminate this cancer and I know he is going to do a great job!!  

Blessings

So as I mentioned, my fear and worrying have been getting the better of me and today not only did I get great advice from Dennis but my book I read a verse from every day (Jesus Calling) said something that really hit the nail on the head. In fact I put a book mark there so I can keep going back to read it! I would love to share this with you:

Stop worrying long enough to hear My voice. I speak softly to you, in the depths of your being. Your mind shuttles back and forth, hither and yon, weaving webs of anxious confusion. As My thoughts rise up within you, they become entangled in those sticky webs of worry. 

Ask My Spirit to quiet your mind so that you can think My thoughts. This ability is an awesome benefit of being My child, patterned after My own image. Do not be deafened by the noise of the world or that of your own thinking. Instead, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Sit quietly in My Presence, letting My thoughts reprogram your thinking. 

Okay, message heard loud and clear!  Shut up Beth!! Time for nothing but positive thoughts!! I will try my best to hand over my fear and worry and live each day as it comes. This warrior and her Terminator are ready to battle!